Thursday, July 15, 2010


I got a call from the bank last night saying that some suspicious activity had popped up on my debit card account. The account had been frozen, but not before some mega-douche had spent $922.50 of my hard-earned dollars on sporting goods, putting my checking account balance in the negatives. Bank procedure is a little annoying, but the police officer who filed my report was AWESOME. He was the first cop I'd ever dealt with that was actually helpful. He also made lots of jokes, including ones about doughnuts, which helped my blood pressure return to a healthy level. And he wrote the report up as a felony, even though technically I don't think theft is a felony unless the total is above $1,000. Maybe there are loopholes...maybe the officer was just being nice. The ladies at the bank said credit card numbers are relatively easy to access these days. Lame. I should know by tomorrow the state from which the purchases were made. The only suspects we could come up with were hotel employees at the places we stayed that required our card being kept on file. The only other places I've used the card lately were with online donations to nonprofits and to pay bills. Lame, lame, lame. No more online donations. And I'm buying a paper shredder. Even though unshredded documents are not the cause of this problem, I've always wanted a paper shredder...and now seems like an appropriate time to get one. Hmpht.

If something else like this happens, I am going to live in a cave. Or maybe be one of those fruititarians that only eat fruit as it falls from the tree. Any withdrawl from normal society would do.

I'd planned on hiking and biking and swimming in creeks today, but since this drama came up it didn't happen. My revised plan? Hammock, bikini, cats for company, iced tea, and Doris. And maybe a late-night bike ride once the hikers return from the mountains. It's the next best thing.

Despite the events of the day, I still feel pretty much like this:

[Photo courtesy of Lisa Danger James, who is great.]

Now for some good news: My friend Tamara had her baby. He is healthy and breathing on his own and digesting breast milk, even though he has to be fed through a tube until he learns proper sucking techniques. Pretty impressive for a three pound lil guy! Also, Courtney's boobies are okay! Hooray for boobies! (Isn't that an album title for some '90s band?)

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